Funny Facebook status messages page #4

is a tiger. Grrrr (walls shaking over awsome tigernesness.)
is copying your profile picture so he can put it in his wallet and show it pretending you're his GF.
wants to make a jigsaw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ‘go outside.
is not for everyone. Clinical tests show that he may cause nausea, fatigue, and kidney or liver problems. Ask your doctor if he is right for you
is a lumberjack and he's okay. He drinks all night and works all day
is beeeeeing in the momenttttttt. the repetition of the letters is a representation of that
is hellbent on elf-destruction.
is the owner of an empty beer keg. Not entirely sure how.
is constructed from lentils and glue.
is made with 10% real juice!
is mesmerised by a shiny thing.
is the dark knight
is sharp as a razor, soft as a prayer. He also likes chicken.
is proof reading to make sure he hasn't any words out.
is filmed before a live studio audience
is doing the HUSTLE! doo du doo du doo du doo doo...
is hunting down every last Jedi.
is sensing something; a presence he hasn't felt since...
is trapped in the facebook status message textbox; send help!
is bringing sexy back... to the store for a refund
is celebrating the Cinco de Mayonnaise.
is so vain. He probably thinks this status is about him.
is thinking that life would be much easier if he had the source code.
is elegant, yet approachable; peppery with a cherry aroma and hints of chocolate, rounded out by a great balance of oak & tannins
Dan’s favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. ‘Cause, you know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach, you’re stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you have a crappy grape, no problem - just move on to the next. ‘Grapes: The Fruit of Hope.
is able to find Atlantis, but shan’t.
is the one true God. FEAR HIM.
is a picker, a grinner, a lover and a sinner, play'n his music in the sun.
is shaking it like a polaroid picture
is easily amused.
is greased up.
is stalking you on facebook.
is shaken not stirred
is raging against the machine!
is unable to cope with the constant threat of electrofunk.
wants his tombstone to read "He's not here yet"
is thinkin that the meek may inherit the earth, but not until he is good and goddamn well done with it.
is short and powerful, like an attack hamster.
says remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck.
loves being bipolar...hates being bipolar
is going to the store. Do you want anything?
is not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
is focus- Oh look, a squirrel!
is watching fireworks while throwing peanuts at old ladies and pretending it wasn't him.
is wondering. Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore, when you can just pick them up off the beach for free?
is walking through the intensive care unit dressed as the grim reaper.
says It may be the early bird that gets the worm. But it's the second mouse that gets the cheese.
is wondering. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
wants a hug
is waiting for the men in white coats to come.
is wondering how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could Chuck Norris

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